My Grandmother & I Celebrating her 100th Birthday

As a young child, my parents took me down to Hillcrest, a retirement and assisted living facility, to visit family members that lived in the community. In order to get to their rooms, we had to walk through the nurse’s station. Sitting in wheelchairs around the station were the elderly, most who had been left to “age in place”. This was a phrase that my grandfather always told me when I asked how he was doing. I would go around and say “hello” and hold a hand, smiling at these people beautiful people “aging in place”. This brought such joy to their faces and really left an impression upon me. We need companionship and kindness not just at birth but at the end of the journey as we head into the next adventure. It gave me such happiness but also left me a bit melancholic that such as simple gesture could bring smiles and even some tears. I feel that it is important to be present for people and if that means something as effortless as a smile or a hand hold, then we need to do more of that.

When my son was in kindergarten, I was fortunate to be able to be a room mother for his classroom. This also gave me time. This time was spent reconnecting with a former teacher of mine. She had lost her husband and needed help with the sorting, organizing, and companionship one needs when a loved one dies. This time spent with Betsy was treasured time. In and amongst the sorting and filing, we talked, reminisced, and sang songs thoroughly enjoying one another’s company. As I look back to this time, I feel most fortunate that I was able to give back to Betsy the care and compassion that she had shown to me. She has since died and yet I feel as if her presence is always there surrounding me with love.

I feel called to do the work of the end-of-life doula. My life’s experiences, including time spent in education, have given me an appreciation for life and for people. My desire is to be of the best assistance in a non-judgmental and caring way to those that are on their end of life journey. This sojourn includes the physical, emotional, and spiritual significances. And while these are present at birth, they continue on and end our journey on this earth as well. My goal is for this end of life passage to be the best for each individual that is within the realm of possibility.